Letting Go
by Czj221
Summary: Forgotten... Abandoned... Replaced... Lucy Heartfillia is sent through hell and back with the return of Lisanna... But she doesn't let that stop her. Stronger than ever the drastically changed Lucy, with her slightly emotionless personality and emo/punk style, takes the mage world on by force... and maybe even tames a dragon in the process. Breaking a few rules in the process...
1. Forgotten

I sighed tiredly and said, "Ok, I'm going solo."

The guild froze.

My "Team" froze.

And I… I stood up and walked away.

I grabbed a mission, got it approved, and left before anyone had a chance to say anything.

_2 Years Ago… (And a little further to the present, chronological)_

_My heart was slowly breaking… _

_The return of Lisanna was a momentous occasion, which might have been an understatement, everyone was ecstatic… I was too of course. But as a consequence of not having known her before she "died" I didn't get the pleasure to know her now. There was always a crowd around her when she was in the guild; guild members happily asking her to tell them stories, to laugh and remember the good old days (which I didn't share), and to just… "Hang out" (a term that was used to often in the guild nowadays)._

_Whenever I heard the term "Hang out," it was implied that I should leave. I did not share their memories, so I was not included in many, no scratch that all, conversations, missions, and anything else that involved with Lisanna._

_It hurt… so much._

_To be forgotten by my own team on missions._

_To be pushed aside by members of the guild when they were "hanging out" with Lisanna._

_To be forgotten on my birthday and important anniversaries._

_To feel replaced._

_The only time my team acknowledged me was when they were telling me to move out of the way so they could sit next to Lisanna or to leave because they were talking with Lisanna. It hurt that the guild barely acknowledged my presence… but for my team to ignore me for so long… It made me feel like a toy they were distracted with while their favorite was just drying from the wash._

_I waited… and waited… and waited… until I finally gave up._

_What confused me the most though was the fact that the people, who came after me, came after Lisanna died besides myself were never left out. They were always with that crowd that was surrounding Lisanna. No one ever told them to leave or to wait… they just got to stay… while I was kicked to the curb. _

_When I had finally accepted that I was no longer going to be "apart" of the guild anymore I felt better, not that the pain wasn't still there but I felt more at ease. _

_I took solo mission after solo mission… but no one seemed to notice my absence._

_Days…_

_Months…_

_Years… Had passed and still no one acknowledged me yet._

_It was pretty depressing if you thought about it. I was 19 and I still hadn't had my first boyfriend, I mean sure I had a couple of one night stands to numb the pain but nothing serious. I was no longer that peppy cheerleading cosplayer, but a more mature, borderline emo/punk, self._

_My usual displays of femininity were nowhere to be seen, instead replaced with decently modest clothing, the complete opposite of my old style. My blonde hair had random streaks orange mixed in, a color close to Loke's hair, and my brown eyes were highlighted with heavy lines of black eyeliner and black mascara. My crop tops were replaced with a variety of graphic tees and my miniskirts were replaced with skinny jeans. My footwear now lent towards combat boots instead of high heeled boots. Black fingerless gloves now decorated my hands. My belt that held my keys was no longer brown but black, go figure, and held a slightly different Fleuve d'etoiles (whip). As an added scare factor for when I was on missions I put on fake snake bites, which I had actually considered getting done but couldn't bring myself to do it. I also got the desired effect I received from my fake snake bites from the swirling pattern of tattoos that covered both of my arms and continued to peak up from underneath my T-shirts and on either side of my neck, ending with a star and moon one displayed on each side. _

_Needless to say my style had changed, no one had noticed but I had learned over time not to care. _

_Some may ask as to why I was still in this guild if it had hurt me so much? Honestly… even though he only looked at me when I personally came to him… the Master was why I stayed. Every time I had come over the past two years to request my leave, he had adamantly made me reconsider… not even giving me a chance to speak in our brief meetings naming all of the reasons I shouldn't leave. The reasons were all things I didn't care about anymore though, I felt no emotion with the reasons he presented… but the fact that he was on the verge of tears every time I came to him again made me back down, only the Master could evoke at least that much emotion in me now._

_The bright side, if there even was a bright side, to my seclusion was the strength I had acquired with each passing mission I conquered. Another awesome aspect was that when my levels had exceeded that of regular missions I had started to take S-class missions, when you were invisible it was easy to sneak up to the second level and snatch missions that would go unnoticed by the other S-class mages. At one point I had taken a six month S-class mission that turned out to be boringly easy, which was my most recent mission._

_I had a lot of time to think by myself, like always, and it finally dawned on me… why don't I just leave the team? I mean it wasn't like I was even on the team anymore physically speaking but on paper I still was. _

_I went through with my plan… And damn! It felt so liberating! _


	2. And in Came Winter

Author's Notes: Soooo… You might be wondering as to why I'm writing a second chapter to a story that I updated less than an hour ago? The answer my friends is because, to be blunt, I have an absolutely terrible memory and when inspiration strikes I have to mine my forgetful memory for the imaginative gold that comes out, in like one of the rusty mine carts because I'm pretty sure I forgot where the pretty and clean ones were. Anyways I appreciate the people who responded to my story so quickly, you have no idea how good it makes me feel to see those wonderful, yet slightly annoying, notifications pop up on my phone with that peeving little _ding!_ So without further ado… Let the awesomeness begin! (If you haven't read my other stories like _Shattered Glass _or _Darkness_, which means you should, you'll learn quickly that I am very fond of the word awesomeness, my arrogant side showing through slightly)

Chapter 2

I looked at the request in my hand slightly cursing to myself for grabbing an easy mission. The flaw in my plan to "liberate" myself was the aftereffects might _actually _receiving attention from the guild. Entailing that consequence would be not being able to steal requests from the S-class board. Sighing heavily I decided that I would return to the guild after I had finished the request, which consisted of watching a dog, later that evening and request that the Master should allow me to pursue S-class missions.

Walking towards the residence of the requester I readied myself for the long day that was sure to come with many irritating mishaps along the way, _I can't wait to get this over with._

_**Time Skip**_

Later that night when I returned to the guild I noticed that the people that were there during my announcement, and then some, were still there, most likely awaiting my arrival. _Here we go._ I thought as I threw myself headfirst into what could be considered one of the biggest headaches _ever_.

I didn't stop when questioning glances where thrown in my direction, I just continued my casual walk and aloof presence as neared the stairs up towards the Masters office. Everyone's eyes seemed to scream:

Who is that?

Is that Lucy?

What is she wearing?

What's with that walk?

What did she mean solo?

What about Team Natsu?

When did she get tattoos?

Did she pierce her lips?

"Hold it." The sound of Erza's voice that saturated the air with authority, caused all eyes in the guild to land on the great Titania's next victim. Me.

I stopped in my tracks and turned my head lazily towards the red head, who currently had her sword pointed at my neck. My eyes languidly looked her over and with a shrug of my shoulders I started to again head towards the stairs. Gasps could be heard throughout the guild, in utter shock that someone had disobeyed the frightening and almighty Erza, but I didn't care I only had one thing on my mind and it wasn't fighting. But she wasn't having it, I could already feel the headache approaching.

Now I felt the tip of her sword press into my back and heard her repeat again, "Hold it!" But this time she said _more _words than I wanted her to. "Who are you?!" She said, trying to make me fear her signature glare into frightened submission, but _I _wasn't having it.

I turned to face her fully, raising my arms mockingly in over my head and said loudly so everyone could hear me. "Aww… I thought you would recognize your own 'teammate.'" Everyone just looked upon me with shock, taking my new appearance in one article of clothing at a time.

Orange and blonde hair.

Snake bites.

Harshly drawn eyeliner.

Fingerless gloves.

A white shirt with colorful pieces of _shattered glass_ decorating the front.

Yellow and black checkered skinny jeans.

Black combat boots.

And for the finishing touch they finally noticed the tattoos that covered both of my arms, swirling upwards to reach either side of my neck.

Erza didn't say anything… but she lowered her sword. I smirked when I didn't see her put it away though, she still had one hand tightly gripped onto the base of it.

"Luce…" I heard someone say, who revealed himself from behind Erza. He looked at me with similar shock in his eyes. "That can't be you right?" He said almost to himself, but everyone heard him. Then he asked something dangerous, for _him_. "Why did you change so suddenly? Why didn't you tell us yesterday when we saw you?" I gave him a feral grin, earning a few fearful faces from my audience.

Before anyone could react I was standing next to Natsu, my hands gripping his shoulders and lips pressed against his ear. I whispered, "_Think._ When was the last time you actually _talked_ to me Natsu? How _old_ do you think I am? _Think._" I left him frozen, his face contorted into a confused scrunch (almost like a pug). I laughed as I walked away earning another weird look, and yet _again _another sword pressed into my back. _Come on! How many times are we going to have to go through this?_

"What'd you do to Nat-" I heard he start but stop immediately stop, which I hate to say peaked my curiosity. When I turned around I saw Natsu, his face covered by his bangs and his fists clenched, one tightly placed on Erza's shoulder.

When he lifted his face I could see tears streaming slowly down it as he hoarsely whispered, "_I'm so… so… sorry… Luce… I'm sorry…"_ He hiccupped and sobbed more quietly to himself. Since everyone was so quiet I thought I'd break it, while having my own fun.

"Ahem!" I said gaining everyone's attention and then continued. "What Flame Brain is crying about over here is over these few questions. Firstly…" I said starting to pace back in forth in front of them in a professor-ly type fashion, waving my hands for emphasis, "When Natsu had asked why I had changed so suddenly… I simply told him the truth. I first started to dress like this a year and half ago. With that said let me ask you my "family" when was the last time you actually had a conversation with me? How old do you think I am? Because I sure as hell am not 17 anymore." With this I saw Natsu's face reflected on many of my fellow guild members. _And… here comes the water works._ As if on cue the whole guild burst into tears upon realizing what they had done, Lisanna even had the decency to do so.

I heard sorrowful wails of repeated:

'_I'm sorry'_

'_So sorry'_

'_I'm sorry Lucy'_

'_SORRY!'_

'_Sorry!'_

'_SORRY'_

With the final sob I heard everyone look at me with silent tears, the majority of the guild probably still riding on the fact of my old kindness asked this one final question with a burst of hope blooming.

"Can you forgive us?" I smiled genuinely at the guild as a whole, letting the levels of hope soar, and then turned my expression into a menacing sneer.

"_No_." I said calmly as I turned and finally made the trek to the stairs reaching the top of the stairs I turned around to meet the faces who looked at me so pleadingly. When I said with finality, "_Never._"

_And in winter came crushing every living thing in its path, hope plummeting, pain inflicted, and only one came out victorious…_


	3. The Maiden of Life and Death

Authors Notes: You know you guys are the best! Literally I've been staring at the computer screen for about ten minutes now (take in to account its 1am) just gushing and squishing my face into really awkward faces… So I'm just gonna thank you again, get used to it (it's gonna happen a lot), for reading. If you didn't know this is only my third fanfiction and getting those favorites/follows in less than ten minutes after I had posted my story was like… awesomeness (*winks*). For those of you that have questions please review… and ask the questions! I'm my worst critique which means you guys can be the lesser critiques… if a chapter sucks please tell me how to fix it in the next chapter. I'm a greenie so don't hold back when you watch me face plant. So now I'm sure that all of you just skipped that, sneaks, so I will actually move on to the good part… let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 3

I sighed audibly against the cool window of the train that was currently headed to Crocus. I really wasn't sure if my current mission was punishment or achievement, _the First Master and her ever so cryptic words._ _'There is one that indeed needs your ever growing abilities to help him out of a predicament, you will find him in the capital in the Tigers den.' I mean, My God! Couldn't she just give in and pick up a freaking English dictionary once in a while. _I sighed again thinking back to my eventful evening, a vengeful smirk playing dangerously on my lips, _they deserved every bit of it._

Although I was still mad about her choice of words, Mavis had helped me… in a very big way. When the Master had tried to scold me for making my fellow guild members cry Mavis had stepped in and stopped him in his tracks. Not only did she do that but she also gave Lucy permission to take S-class missions, although she wasn't the current Master she still held a heavy influence over the person that was. But there was a catch, _of course there was_; I had to complete a task which is the reason as to why I'm sitting on a train right now.

I looked back towards the window staring at my reflection versus the scenery that passed by me. I had a pair of bright yellow headphones that successfully covered my ears. My lips… didn't really look like anything other than a pair of lips? My eyes were again decorated with the black eyeliner and mascara but I always made sure it was _highlighting_ not dominating my face. I looked down at my hands staring at the familiar black fingerless gloves and _shattered glass _(hint, hint) shirt. Still seeing my yellow and black checkered pants and combat boots I felt a bit of comfort.

These silly pieces of clothing gave me comfort, they were always there… never changing.

I felt the rolling of the trains wheels stop, jerking me forward slightly at the unexpected halt. I stood as I heard the speakers projecting the most_ annoying _voice I had ever heard, shaking my head before I did something stupid I exited the train grabbing my few possessions: myself, my keys, and my whip.

Thinking back to what Mavis had said, I remember her mentioning a _Tigers_ den. Sabertooth, mystery done did. So I just had to go to Sabertooth and help someone? I had a feeling that whoever this person was I didn't really want to meet them. With another sigh I trudged forward, towards the most obnoxiously large building in the area. _Their ego never dies down does it?_

I was walking casually through the streets toward my desired destination until I heard a loud _CRASH!_ Coming from that exact same place. _Why do I always get the troubling missions?_ I thought huffing slightly at Mavis for giving me this mission, never the less I quickened my pace and was met face to face with pure chaos.

Scorch marks could be seen throughout the guild with intervals of mesmerized, trapped, and frozen men and women. _You've got to be kidding me!_ Thought as I focused on the eye of the storm, or should I say _thunder_ storm.

The Raijinshu and their beloved Laxus stood in the middle of the battlefield… panting? _So I came to save Laxus' ass... wow that's a new one._ I started to walk haughtily towards the four, laughing out loud causing everyone's eyes to turn to me.

"Hey Sparky need some help there?!" I said doubling over in laughter, no one else found it funny… but I found it hilarious. The almighty Laxus needed the help from a person who wasn't even considered a threat… yet. When he scowled at my arrival, I smiled at him with a look of pure glee.

"What are you doing here Blondie?" He asked annoyed.

I gave him a round of applause to his further confusion, "I'll clap to that, and you're the first one to recognize me right away. Consider yourself special. To answer your question the First Master sent me here to assist you." I said with a smirk.

"Geez, Blondie! We don't need you help!" He yelled. A person from behind him, which to my surprise the dragon slayer didn't notice, can at him with a sword arms ready for the kill. In less than a second I was across the room, giving the man a flying kick to the face. Using my momentum that I already had in the air I managed to turn myself so that now my hands were situated around his neck.

Pressing my lips to his ear I asked him steadily, "You sure about that?" With another proudly earned smirk I did a backflip off of him back landing on my feet lightly. Turning towards the surrounding men I noticed a few familiar faces from the games, ready I said, "I guess it's my turn to show off…" I said an intensely savage look graced my features as I chanted in a haunting voice placing my hands on either side of my neck, "Open the gates of Pain and bliss!" The tattoo on the right side of my neck, the moon, began to turn red infecting the other lines the twirled and twisted up and down my arms. While its sister tattoo, the star, began to radiate a brilliant white gold spreading its brilliance down to reach my wrist. With booth of my fingers pressing onto either of the symbols, I ripped them off in one fell swoop producing two twin swords (imagine two katanas with red and white that are made completely out of a quirly-q tattoo).

_Jaws were dropped, heartbeats were increasing, and the fun was only beginning… The Maiden of Life and Death had appeared for a visit._

Authors Notes: And on an ending note… A review asked me earlier as to why the other newcomers hadn't been excluded. Upon thought I had replied with that I was really trying to giving a trust complex to Lucy, who had been completely forgotten. That's all I will tell you, because if I tell you more I might give something away and we wouldn't want that (*smirks*). 


	4. The Mad Hatter

Fear…

Amazement…

I could smell it…

I was getting excited…

When I was tired of the stares I turned my sound pod on and went to work. Reading myself in a crouch, with swords raised at my sides ready to pounce at any moment… the beat dropped and I was gone. When I had taken down the ring of people surrounding the Raijinshu I called out to the person or people I could count on, "Hey guys, you wanna take on the underlings while I take on the boss?"

With a _poof!_ Of golden sparkles a horde of celestial spirits surrounded the remaining underlings. Loke with his signature flirtatious grin called out, "anything for my Princess." A chorus of 'Yea's!' were heard from the other spirits.

I heard a low whistle from the second floor to stare into the smirk of the current guild Master Sting. "Pretty feisty one we got here. I'm surprised the Fairy's had someone like you… why haven't I heard of you yet?"

I returned his smirk, "Well I'm surprised as well, as to why you didn't remember a pretty face like mine is astonishing!" I said with mock surprise.

His brows scrunched up in confusion when he asked, "When did I meet you?"

"Two years ago at the GMG's… huh," I said with a sigh. "I guess I was pretty pathetic back then… but then again I did have more blonde hair and less of… this." I said pointing to myself as a whole. Then his eyes widened and he laughed, _got you_. I thought with an animal-like grin.

"You were that Fairy that got beaten half to death by Minerva!" He said still laughing. "Well then I guess I can't hold back on you can I? Surround her!" _This is a pretty good group we got here_. Rouge, Rufus, Orga, _and_ Minerva were surrounding me smirking at me imagining their instant win; except Rogue he just stood there emotionless as ever, _geez does this guy's face ever change?_

To my left I could hear Laxus yell, "Oi! Blondie, do you have a death wish?"

I put on an act, cowering slightly letting my lip quiver giving more confidence to the other side. Then I laughed like a mad man, confusing everyone in my radius. I lazily twirled my swords in my hands, as the others shook of their shock. When they were yet again ready, I attacked.

I didn't move an inch but my swords were no longer visible, when they had returned to my side the four surrounding me dropped to the ground. An 'X' carved into their foreheads, no blood left the skin though because that is just how clean of a cut it had been.

When Sting began to look around frantically two swords reached up from behind him, enclosing his neck into a deathly hold. "I've heard the stories about you…" He said shakily. "Coming into towns plagued by dark guilds and attacking them one by one. Leaving only an 'X' on their foreheads as a reminder to stay in line, pretty clever I must say."

Gasps and mutters could be heard throughout the guild, from those that weren't already unconscious. The Raijinshu received the biggest shock, they had been gone from the guild for the longest time, but even so when they had been their Lucy had still looked like… Lucy. They all thought the same thing, '_what happened?'_

One person screamed and yelled, "The Maiden of Life and Death!"

I chuckled darkly, "Well since you aren't a dark guild, I will spare you the embarrassment then. But I will warn you… the next time I have to come back to this guild I want to be welcomed back with a 'hello' not a sword, got me?" Before leaving I whispered into his ear with small smile, "It was nice to see you too." I slipped a piece of paper into his pocket and walked towards the utterly shocked Raijinshu as they watched curiously as I "reattached" my tattoos, letting them slither up my arms until they were back into place. I looked up to see Sting smile as he looked at the note, with that I pushed the Raijinshu out the door. (Note: _The wounds are shallow and will heal without scarring, until next time L.H._)

"Now may I ask what you idiots were doing in there fighting with the Sabers?" I said with a very bored expression on my face, hands on hips.

"W-Well we were trying to uh… get information! Yea, that's it." Bixslow said with a forced grin on his face scratching the back of his head, staring anywhere else but Lucy.

Freed on the other hand, with his guilty conscious answered honestly, "La-I! Got mad when a Saber said something about me and… started a fight." He mumbled towards the end. _Ah! That makes more sense._

"So its Sparky's fault, that makes sense." Everyone sweat dropped when Lucy turned a glare towards Laxus, who returned a look of indifference. "You know Mavis made me come all the way over here to save _your_ asses and you were only pettily fighting with the Sabers!" I said throwing my hands up into the air in exasperation.

"Shut it, Blondie!" Was all he said, "What I want to know is what magic you were using in there, not to mention the crazy amount of spirits you summoned?" He asked inquisitively.

I smirked at his comment, releasing energy into my tattoo. Only one of the tattoos started to glow though, the red one, "Are you sure you want to know?" I said releasing an untamed growl from the back of my throat.

_There were audible gulps heard, a dragon who feared a maiden ever so slightly, and the mad hatter had been released…_


	5. Relieving the Pain

Author's Notes: You guys really know how to make a girl cry, _stupid teenage hormones!_ Anyways it makes me really happy reading all of your guys comments… wow… the fact that no quirky quips are coming to me at the moment is terrifying! Well I guess no that that's over with, you sneaks… Let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 5

I couldn't move…

My arms weren't moving…

My legs were pulled into a painful crouch…

My eyes were closed, surrounding me in darkness…

I mustered a growl so ferocious that I heard the shuffling of feet as someone or someone's backed away...

Then I could see specks of red dot across the underside of my eyelids…

_Red_… I thought with a lick of my chapped lips.

I was _parched…_

My senses picked up the familiar sound… the sound thrummed throughout my whole body, raising little bumps of flesh on my skin.

_The pumping of blood…_

I hummed in delight, slowing grasping a more sounds of life.

The shuffled of feet from those passing by…

The faint cries of an infant…

The complaints of a young woman directed at her companion…

The gushing of a young couple…

_I want to crush it…_

_All of it…_

_All of them…_

_They should share my pain…_

_Pain…_

_Pain of losing loved ones…_

_Pain of betrayal…_

_Pain of guilt…_

_Pain of a broken heart…_

_Pain of death…_

_They should all-_

I gasped as a hand soothingly traced my arm in a swirling motion, warming me up with the comfortable touch.

_Die…_

I feel at peace.

_Pain…_

I feel drowsy.

_Suffering…_

I think I should sleep.

_Torture…_

Goodnight.

_Blood…_

**Outside of Lucy's consciousness**

We all looked at her dumbstruck, she laughed maniacally at our expressions. Her eyes had taken on a crazed look giving us the impression that she had gone _mad_.

"The Mad Hatter has come to play…" Lucy, or Mad Hatter, said giggling like a mad woman (Imagine Crona or Maka when they're all doped up on black blood).

Laxus turned to face his team, one eye still trained on the wild looking blonde, "Is it just me or does someone need to get a doctor?" The others just shrugged unable to think of a way to help their blonde, not so blonde, guild mate.

She laughed again, scaring those surrounding her.

She froze, looking at us hungrily.

Her posture dropped into that of a rag doll, bangs covering her eyes.

A smile rose to her face as she whispered one word.

"_Blood._"

Taking off at speeds unable to be seen by the naked eye, limbs flailing wildly, the blonde went for the kill.

Black shadows stopped her just inches away from the lightning mage's face. The shadows consumed her: holding her legs in a crouch, restraining her arms behind her back, and covering her eyes. They all turned to see a very conscious and very concentrated Rogue, standing by the Guilds doors his face no longer calm and controlled but contorted into something straining.

Following quickly behind the shadow mage was a concerned looking Sting. As he slowly approached the newly restrained female, she released a dangerously ferocious growl causing everyone to unconsciously take a step back (Even our supposedly brave lightning dragon slayer). When she had calmed down, somewhat, Sting moved closer to her again chanting something incoherent to the rest.

I small white light appeared on the tip of his finger, he began to slowly but frantically trace the pattern engraved in the girls opposite arm consuming it in a white light. She let out a few whimpers as he traced the lines over and over again. Both tattoos started to erratically shift back and forth between red and white, fighting for dominance or balance. With one last yelp the blonde fell unconscious, dropping lethargically into the waiting arms of the light dragon slayer.

Smoothing the down her hair affectionately and picking her up bridal style Sting started to make his way back inside his guild. Only to be stopped by a rather large hand.

"What happened back there?" A very pissed off Laxus asked.

Sting looked back on the male, indifference washing over his features, "It's not for me to tell, you'll have to wait and ask Blondie here yourself."

"Thank you." The lightning mage said with a huff.

Sting's facade faltered as he replied, "There's no reason to thank me… I was only keeping a promise…"

_Questions were left unanswered, beasts were tamed, and promises were kept…_


	6. Secrets Revealed

Author's Notes: Soooo… I guess people were really confused with the last chapter… I thought I had given some pretty good hints there too. Hints: red tattoo = blood, red tattoo = the mad hatter, red + white tattoo = balance… if you guys can't figure something out with only this much… than God help us all. Anyways… Let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 6

I groaned as I opened my eyes, seeing stormy blue eyes that hovered over my own- what the hell! I sat up quickly hitting my forehead in the process, against said blue eyed person. After quickly dispersing the pain that had gathered in my forehead I looked over to see who this 'blue eyed' person was… to my surprise it was Sting.

He was standing to the right of what looked like an infirmary bed, that I was currently laying in, rubbing his head in annoyance. His style had changed as well since I last saw him, he no longer wore that hideous looking furry thing and the parachute pants were gone as well. He wore a royal blue coat with a gold trim that was covering a crop top type shirt that provided me with a nice view. Replacing the parachute pants were simple gray pants tucked into black boots with gold soles.

"I see that you're feeling rather lively." He said with his signature smirk, still wincing slightly from our head-butt.

"Well it's pretty frightening to see your face so early in the morning." He only scoffed at my comment and walked forward to sit on the edge of my bed, his expression turning serious.

"Your friends had a rather unpleasant encounter with the Mad Hatter the other day." Earning a groan of annoyance from me.

"You're kidding me right…" I said hopefully, wishing for him to tell me that he was joking.

"Sadly not." He said in a rather annoyed tone as well. "They're downstairs waiting for your explanation as to what happened."

"Well let's get this over with then…" I muttered with a sigh. "Bring them up then, looks like I have some explaining to do."

Sting rose from his seat and walked out of the infirmary, calling down to the first floor for the four Fairy's to come up. When he returned the four 'Fairy's', as Sting so fondly calls them, were trailing behind him.

"Talk, Blondie." Was all Laxus said, while casually leaning against the wall directly in front of me. His underlings scattered around the remaining open spots in the small room, crowding around my bed with anxious faces.

"Well good morning to you too, Sparky." He scowled at my pet name for him, Sting chuckling off to the side.

"Miss Lucy, would you be so kind to tell us what kind of magic you were using yesterday?" Freed asked, radiating curiosity like he had just found a new book.

"Well if that will get you to leave me alone sooner than why the hell not." With a sigh I readied to divulge my life's, pathetic, sob story. "I don't know if you all were informed but with the return of Lisanna the guild sort of… forgot me. That's a simple way to put it I guess, but with that came these ugly feelings of pain, hate, loathing, suffering, and all that fun stuff." By now the whole room was covered from head to toe in disbelief, except for Sting. "Hold your tongues until the _end_ of the story. Anyways, where was I… Oh, yes, I was telling about my little betrayal with the guild. So instead of having to suffer through all of those horrible feelings I went with the easier route… I got rid of them."

"So you went to therapy?" Bixslow asked.

"Not quite…" By this point in my story they all looked confused as to what I was talking about. "I… found a spell that would take my feelings and put them outside of my body, does that make sense?" The whole group comically shook their heads. "Well, then, basically the spell took them and made these tattoos."

Freed jumped to my side in an instant, "Really?!" He said like a kid who just found a toy at the bottom of a cereal box. Before he could give me a headache with the questions that were surely about to come, I held up my hand to silence him.

"Yes… and when I release these tattoos I always, _always_ have to release both." I said.

"Why?" Evergreen piped up from her corner of the room.

"If I don't summon them together you get what happened yesterday." I said matter of factly.

"The Mad Hatter…" Sting added, lifting up his shirt higher presenting a large scar along his chest. "One nasty son of a bitch, no offense _Luce_." (Did anyone else catch that?) There was a collective intake of breath.

"None taken. As I'm sure you've guessed already, when the red tattoo is activated so are my negative emotions. To keep my overwhelming hate for… well, everybody, I had to create a counter balance."

"Which is your right arm!" Bixslow yelled like he had just struck gold.

"Wow, I guess you aren't as stupid as you look." I said bluntly, earning an '_hmph!'_ from Bixslow. "But yes, my right left arm holds all of my positive feelings, acting as a counter balance for when I go crazy on everyone I see. Well then, I guess that concludes my explanation." I said indicating for everyone to leave.

Laxus clearly didn't get the message, "One more question Blondie… what do you mean Fairy Tail betrayed you?"

With a snarl I told him, "Go ask them yourselves."

_With that secrets were revealed, disbelief and disappointment was spread, and things were still left untold…_


	7. Promises Made

Author's Notes: Sorry guys for a late update, I had a really hectic week at school. Even though I do prefer to hide in my room writing stories I also have responsibilities with clubs and such. While homework is also a pain in my ass I still have to do it to keep up with my "smart girl" reputation. So those are the excuses for this week but what the hell do you guys care, you sneaks. Well then without further ado… Let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 7

"Ugh! It's like everyone is purposefully trying to give me a headache." I said with an exasperated sigh, still sitting on the bed in the infirmary. By now the 'Fairy's' had left and were headed back to the guild, I was currently surrounded my 'X' marked victims from the skirmish yesterday. They all weren't very happy with me. Minerva least of all.

"What the hell was that for Lucy?!" She yelled pointing a finger at the 'X' that was branded onto her forehead.

I raised my hands in defense, "Hey, it's not like I had a choice and that isn't going to scar I made sure that I only skimmed all of your foreheads."

"I appreciate that, Miss Lucy." Rogue said with a slight nod of his head, still showing no emotion.

"Thank you Rogue, and I thought I told you to stop calling me Miss." I said flatly, hating his name for me.

"I have memorized this, _Miss Lucy_." Rufus said, with an antagonistic tone.

"Well at least it's not permanent… I'm gonna go get a beer." Orga said with a reluctant sigh. Minerva huffed, sending me one last glare, and left following Orga. Rufus also left after the other two with a wink.

"Glad that's over with…" I said leaning back against the headboard of my bed, placing a hand over my tired eyes. I peaked out from underneath my fingers when I felt the bed dipping slightly under new weight, only to find Sting sitting at the end of my bed. "What happened to Rogue?" I said peeking behind him to find an empty room.

"He slipped out, I guess." He said looking over his shoulder as well. Leaning forward he slowly started stroking my hair tenderly, I moaned softly under his touch. "That took a lot out of you didn't it…" He said with worry evident in his dark blue eyes.

"It's fine…" I said leaning into his touch. We sat there in silence, him slowly stroking my hair while I lay down on the bed desperately reaching for a peaceful sleep.

Sting and I have a very special relationship, although I had various one night stands… Sting was never one of them, he refused me when I was at my most vulnerable. Sting was more old-fashioned then I had previously thought, he blabbered on and on about how I should only do that with the one I love. But instead of just refusing and scolding me, he also put me on the right path. This was when I was suffering with those wretched _emotions_, Sting had helped me find that spell to remove my emotions. He was with me through the whole process… even when we had first discovered my Mad Hatter side.

_Flashback_

"_Ok, call them out again." Sting said._

"_Open the Gates of Pain and Bliss!" I cried, feeling the slithering of my emotions crawling down my arms forming into two twin blades._

"_Not good enough! You need to be able to call them out faster Luce!" Sting yelled, angering me in the process._

"_You don't think I'm trying…" I shuddered out feeling this outrageous anger bubble out from inside, a _feeling _I haven't felt in a while. "Well then I guess, I'll show you how hard I'm trying… you obviously want to play with the Mad Hatter." I said feeling my other sword disappear from my left hand._

"_Luce…" Sting said cautiously, wary of my current appearance._

At the time when we didn't know about the Mad Hatter I did something that I would regret forever, I hurt the one person that still meant something more to me than I knew in my current state. He was the one person who had never betrayed me… who had helped me when I was at my weakest… who had left me with positive emotions and memories when I thought I had none left. I didn't know, and I still don't know, what this feeling meant but I didn't want it to leave… I wanted that warmth, I craved it.

_I was panicking._

_I couldn't move._

_I couldn't see._

_I couldn't feel anything, which was normal… but at some point in time I had gotten used to the warmth Sting provided me with._

_Sting…_

_With his name something clicked into place, memories flooded through my head leaving me screaming. I felt my body start to seizure under the restraints, but I couldn't do anything. My eyes started leaking tears that I could not explain… but as I watched it replay over and over again in my mind I couldn't do anything but scream. My hands slowly coming out and attacking Sting… leaving him on the ground bleeding heavily from his chest wound. Then the darkness came… where it held me captive. I started to whimper pathetically…_

_Until I felt it, warmth. It was lazily tracing its way up and down my arms, making me shuddered in delight. It was soothing… I felt calm… at peace… and very tired. I yawned feeling sleep embrace me with open arms._

_The next morning I woke up, rubbing my eyes tiredly I looked to see a sleeping, slumped form of Sting on my bad. His face was scrunched up in pain, probably from his awkward position with his wound. I got up slowly making sure no to make so much noise as I moved from underneath the covers… apparently I wasn't quiet enough. As soon as I had tried to stand up a hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, I looked down to see Sting fully awake now._

"_What are you doing?" He growled. I flinched._

"_Leaving." I replied simply._

_He stood up quickly making him wince, and sending him back downwards. I caught him just in time, lowering him down onto the infirmary bed I had just gotten up from. "Don't you dare…" He said dangerously low._

_My face suddenly turned serious and I lowered myself to his level, grabbing his hand tightly. "Sting, I need you to promise me something…" He didn't say anything, but I continued anyways. "If I ever get like that again… I want you to kill me." I said._

"_No! Absolutely not!" Sting yelled, his face contorted in anger at the suggestion._

"_Yes!" I said surprising both Sting and myself with the… emotion in my voice. "I don't want to hurt you… or anyone else again!"_

"_You can't just give up right away! We can find some way to-" He tried to say, but I cut him off._

"_You don't understand! When I was like that I couldn't control myself, all I wanted was everyone to feel my pain… the bloodlust was overwhelming. I need you to promise me." I said pleading him to agree. "If you can't find a way to control me I want you to kill me."_

_He said nothing. He just stared at me blankly._

"_Promise!" I said desperately._

"_Fine…" He said with a resigned sigh, "I promise."_

_With those two words a promise was made, fates were tied, and the foreboding future was still yet to come… _


	8. Help Refused

Author's Notes: There are some points in time when I start writing to when I finish that I reflect on how I have previously written. How I have changed or improved my writing style, how I've progressed. In this particular story I have seen an enormous change in myself and how I write. I would like to say that is thanks to you all who follow this story. You all have given me the confidence to continually improve myself to deliver a better piece of literature. After all of these words I would just like to say thank you, to everyone following, favorite-ing, and those who just occasionally checking in and reading a chapter here and there. Well now since we are over and done with the sappy part of this chapter… Let the awesomeness begin!

The train ride home was a little more than boring… it was strange. I had forgotten to put on a fresh layer of what I like to call my "war paint", eyeliner, and Sting had stolen my fake snakebites refusing to give them back. He claimed that they were not needed to scare people because my face was enough already, I hit him afterwards but just gave up and them without them.

Without my snake bites and eyeliner I noticed more than a few males staring in my direction, which I found very odd. Only those two essential parts of my outfit were gone but previous self-seemed to be shining through, which I'm sure was Sting's initial motive. He always complained about my sudden change of appearance but I had always waved him off, not caring in the slightest. _This was the reason why…_ I thought with an exasperated sigh.

Males always tended to give unneeded attention, which definitely was something I didn't need. For instance my first S-class mission still fully enveloped in "cheerleader" mode a male, who had been giving me lustful eyes the whole ride on the train and all throughout town, got in the line of fire while I was in battle. Casualties were sure to occur so I opted for "punk" mode, which did great to send males in the opposite direction.

I huffed at the memory, _stupid male._ I felt the click and clatter of the train tracks beneath me slow down coming to a stop, signaling me to get up and vacate the arriving train. My thought was proved right when I heard the speaker call out, "_The train is now arriving in Magnolia, please gather your belongings and be safe. Welcome to Magnolia!" _

I stood up grabbing at air, _that's right no bag this time._ I shrugged off the thought at mussed my hair as much as I could, trying to look as messy and unattractive as possible.

The streets of Magnolia looked as normal as ever: friendly people greeting each other, shops eagerly welcoming prospective customers, and as usual a few crazy guild members here and there destroying things. Causing chaos might as well be our motto because that's what we did wherever we went: destroying towns, losing our missions objective, and more often than not catching the bad guys, which wasn't a bad thing. We always completed our missions, there were those few that did end badly but that was rare.

The memory of the good ol' days really did nothing for me, thankfully. If I still had my emotions resentful feelings would most likely arise, trigging a certain bloodthirsty friend of mine. Welcoming the oncoming emptiness I continued on my path to the guild, it had been two full days since the guilds little revelation. My eventful run in with the Raijinshu most likely spread throughout the guild already, saving me from having to explain the situation.

My intuition was yet again spot on, when I pushed open the guild doors I noticed the same faces from two nights ago. _Geez… do these people have nothing better to do than wait to question me?_ I strutted towards the second floor stairs to acquire a new missions to relieve me of my constant boredom, only to be stopped by a very large human wall.

"Move it, Sparky." Was all I needed to say to elicit a growl from the larger male's throat. I looked up to see a scowl decorating his face, making him look like a very threatening… pug. Size doesn't matter in the battle of stares, I glared at him surpassing the level currently assigned to Erza or even the demon queen, Mira, herself. He shrunk back ever so slightly, earning himself a grin from yours truly.

"Not a chance, Blondie." He said standing his ground, _well two can play at that game._

I grinned wickedly, feeding a little energy into my right arm letting it glow slightly. Putting on the best show I could muster, swaying from side to side letting my arms wave freely. I said in a voice I didn't even know I could project, "You wanna play again…" The Raijinshu and Laxus visibly stiffened at my words. When he started to back away I let out a belly laugh, I laughed so hard I think I may have started to cry. The red light faded, but transferred to the faces of the embarrassed Thunder God Tribe.

I quickly passed by the shocked Laxus and made my way up the steps to the second floor. I quickly snatched a request off of the request board and made my way towards the railing overlooking the guild. Taking the Master's signature stance, I stood atop the railing projecting my voice across the crowded building.

"So I'm sure these loudmouths over there told you about my current situation. If any of you are going to try to do something along the lines of 'saving me' or 'helping me'… _don't._ I am perfectly fine as I am now, continue on with your lives like you have been doing for the past two years. But let me reiterate this one more time for those of you who are too dense enough to understand… _Leave. Me. Alone._" I finished with an icy stare. Walking out of the guild.

_With this final statement glares were given and received, help was refused, and the queen still reigned supreme…_


	9. Suprises

Author's Note: Ok so I'm just going to let all of you know right now that I will only be posting one chapter a week now, it's official. Homework and sports has proven to be too much for me to handle with writing thrown into the mix as well, also my computer is being an ass and not letting me log into my account on my laptop. Well anyways… Let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 9

Walking through the forest I glanced down at the mission paper yet again making sure I was reading it correctly, _why is this even an S-class mission?_ I thought with distaste, recently I seemed to be picking up super easy missions. _I really have to stop just randomly picking them and storming out of the guild._ I sighed thinking about my recent actions, this whole solo mission thing turned out to be more trouble than I thought it would be.

The mission paper read:

_Please help us rid our town of a dark mage._

_Reward: 200,000 jewels_

_Well at least it pays well…_

When I had gone through the client's town earlier I noticed the lack of a dark mage so I ventured into an area most would assume a dark mage would go, the creepy ass forest that surrounded the town. Of course the forest would provide more coverage compared to the city, providing the dark mage with the advantage. If this dark mage has been in this forest for a long time then I was screwed.

Reasons:

They would be able to hide in spaces unable to be seen by the naked eye, successfully hiding him or herself from my view.

I would be out in the open, the foliage does nothing if I have no idea where I'm going.

There magic, whatever it may be, might be able to be casted from a farther range making it impossible for me to pinpoint their location without getting myself killed.

Sighing to myself continued my brisk steps through a patch of trees, until I heard the cracking of branches from behind me. I turned around swiftly smiling to myself, _maybe this dark mage is stupid… lucky me._

I came face to face with girl who could have been my mother, in age of course. Her hair was a dark brown peppered with little hints of gray, announcing her growing age. Her eyes were a piercingly light blue, almost white, stark in contrast to her ruby red lips. She was wearing a black leather vest with the zipper slightly lowered revealing her abundant breasts, accompanied with a pair of black skin tight leather pants. Her black combat boots completed the ensemble nicely.

It was then that I noticed the tattoo that decorated her right arm, it was identical to my own. The Mad Hatters mark. That was it though, there was no counter balance.

Her face was masked with aloofness that is until she saw my clearly marked arms, her face lit up like fireworks. She clapped excitedly, jumping up and down on her feet.

"Finally someone to play with!" She said, and in an instant her blue eyes took on a blood red color. _A beautiful demon._ Her tattoo slithered off of her arm with practiced ease, swirling into to creation. An axe now sat in her right hand, playfully drooping as her stance lowered.

I reacted too slowly. She quickly ran at me, axe raised. Then in one fell swoop, the hawk captured its prey. I didn't even feel the axe as it sliced open my stomach, letting blood spurt freely from the open wound. As I lay still on the ground, she placed her foot atop my ribcage restricting my movement.

"Now who do we have here?" She whispered lowly, as she dipped her hand towards my open wound. A single finger was placed under my flesh, earning a scream from myself as I felt some of her raw and angry energy claw at my insides. Pulling back her finger she licked it, releasing a moan almost as if savoring the blood that coated her finger. "Ah… the Mad Hatter, I see. I'm glad I found you…" She purred.

"The Joker will be very pleased…"

Those were the last words I heard before red dots began to dance across my vision, my world being bathed in red. Until there was nothing at all except for my need, my need for… _blood._

_Jokes were played, discoveries were made, and the world was bathed in blood._


	10. Old Friends and New Enemy's

Author's Notes: I'm really, really, _really_ sorry that I haven't released a new chapter in a while, I think I'll blame it on homework again. Either way I guess I'll leave out all of the awesome things, like homework, out of this and just get straight to the point. Let the awesomeness begin!

Chapter 10

I woke up with a pounding headache. I could feel the moist dirt beneath me, the grass was tickling the exposed parts of my skin. The smell of fresh and open air eased the pain of my headache only a fraction. Opening my eyes I saw that I was surrounded by a grove of trees, little blossoms of the fruits it would bear covered them. The sky was clear, with the exception of a few clouds, predicting the greatness of the day. I sat up slowly, trying my best not to irritate my aching brain any more than it already was.

I screamed, horrified.

On the ground around me bodies were scattered blood seeping into the once pure earth. People of all ages lay face down, or face up revealing lifeless eyes staring up at the endless sky. Then I shakily looked down at my hands, red was all I could see. Blood covered my hands, blood seeped into to my clothing changing it into an ugly crimson red. I could feel the stickiness of the blood as it clung to my skin, holding down my body like tar.

I looked into the eyes of the person nearest to me, she was young. Most likely in her early teens, maybe thirteen; her eyes locked onto mine. Eyes that were probably once a beautiful blue, were now glazed over. Bright curly red hair that probably bounced with each step was now stained a deep crimson, wet with blood. Her body was covered in large gashes, as were the rest. It was almost like a wild animal had come through here, tearing up everything in its path. Then again I was an animal.

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut, _I had killed._ I had killed people, innocent people. I had told Sting to kill me that day and curse him now for not doing it. His silly attachment to me had led to the death of so many people.

_I have to kill myself._

There was no way I was going to let this happen again, I have to do it. I have to.

I tried to stand, but my first attempt was futile. My legs were shaking so badly that I didn't think that I would be able to stand for a few minutes. After I had finally deemed my legs able to walk, I stood slowly. Moving my hands in quick flapping motions to keep me from falling over.

I was used to seeing bodies, almost to the point that would make others sick but it had become part of my job. Seeing slaughtered towns and cities wiped out by monsters was a regular occurrence on S-class missions, but I was not used to seeing a towns worth of people that were my own doing. Stepping over each and every one of them, counting them and closing their eyes, made me nauseous.

After I had finally made it to the end of the row I noticed the lack of bodies, _did 'she' drag them all over here to surround me?_ It was definitely weird, but not my problem. My first priority was death. To get this all over and done with.

No more surprise visits from my darker half.

No more Fairy Tail.

No more Sabertooth.

No more… Sting.

I shook off the brief hint doubt that crossed my mind. I was really lucky to find a knife lying near the body of a man, who most likely trying to kill me. Picking it up I pointed it towards my abdomen, which was surprisingly already covered in what could be my own blood or someone else's. With one last thought I plunged the dagger into my stomach, twisting it in the process.

I grunted and fell to the ground, panting slightly on my knees. _Who knew dying could be so painful?_ I thought with a chuckle, _I guess I still have my humor._ I was thinking or dreaming of what could have been a peaceful death, a nice send off into the underworld.

"Tch, I thought this would happen." Someone said with a sigh. "I told him that she was going to feel guilty and wind up doing something like this, but did he listen to me… No!" The person yelled with frustration.

I turned to see a woman standing in the middle of one of the rows of trees, ranting to herself about how stupid 'he' was. She looked familiar… then it clicked.

"Crazy hatchet lady!" I yelled, or tried to, my breath was leaving me in quicker spurts now. Even with the surrounding trees, I couldn't resupply my oxygen quick enough.

I heard the lady laugh, it was almost hysterical. She wiped the few tears that had leaked out her eyes and then turned to look at me with a smirk. "So how does that knife feel in your gut?" She asked with a smirk. Oh how I hated that smirk.

"It feels great, I feel like I'm floating on the clouds." I said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes at my comment, "Well then, you don't want me to remove it?"

I looked at her blankly and said, "If I had wanted it removed I would have gotten that guy over here to pull it out for me." I said pointing towards the dead body that found the knife with.

She snickered, "Well then I guess someone doesn't want to live anymore, is that right?"

"No shit Sherlock!" I said gasping for breath at this point, I began seeing black dots dance across my vision. I smiled to myself, _it's going to be over soon enough._

"Oh well then, does that mean I can get rid of that blondie than?" _Blondie? _"Oh you look confused, I mean the Saber one."

I stared wide eyed at her for a moment, looking like an idiot. Then it clicked, she was blackmailing me into living, and it was working. "You… don't have… him. He's… too… strong… for you."

She gave me a deadly smile, "Oh, really? Then who is that?" She said pointing towards another clearing of trees. In them stood Sting… with red eyes.

_With that bodies were laid to rest, surprises were presented, and decisions were made. _


End file.
